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5 Everyday Things Women Do That Turn Men Off (And Have No Clue About)

March 8, 2018

Ladies, If you want things to work out, it's time to knock it off!

1. You dumb yourself down.

If you are a woman who thinks men don’t want you to be smart, think again. Healthy men are attracted to confident, happy, and smart women.  

NOTE: Some smart women are arrogant and demeaning to men.   Arrogance is not confidence. You don’t want a man to talk down to you and a man doesn’t want you to talk down to him. Most men want a partner with whom he can have conversations about life, work, family, politics, challenges, and everything — so he wants a woman who is intelligent. 

2. You fake it.

Not talking about sex, but it applies here too. 

Faking is a game that most men don’t like to play. One of the examples men spoke about is when a woman pretends to like something he said or did so that he will like her. 

A man who is secure will be okay if you don’t think everything he says or does is funny or brilliant, as long as you aren’t rude about it. Acknowledge and appreciate him when it is authentic.   

3. You feed the drama in your life.

The definition of "melodrama" is being overly emotional and causing a scene over every little problem.

Are you a "(Melo) Drama Queen"? Do you make a big deal about a little problem? Do you gossip about others to make yourself look better? Do you usually make yourself the heroine, victim, or villain of your story (or all three, depending on which will get you the most attention)?

In general, men do not like drama.  

Some men have admitted that when dating, they will tolerate drama if they are getting laid. The hotter a woman is, the more drama a man will put up with. On the other hand, if the drama supersedes her hotness, he will leave.

If you are a "(Melo) Drama Queen", you may be addicted to the hormones released by being dramatic. You can get attention even if it's negative. The dramatic retelling of your story can be stressful for you as the story-teller, and it can also stress out the people listening to your story. 

4. You are constantly nagging and complaining.

The reason you might not be getting what you want is that your communication skills are not working. Instead of complaining about what you don’t want, ask for what you do want.

First, focus on what you want not what you don't want. This is for your benefit (so you don't automatically go into complaint-mode). It also is for the benefit of whomever you are with including your spouse or boyfriend, your date, a child, employee, or neighbor. 

"Ask", do not demand. We all have expectations of ourselves and others. When you have an expectation and it hasn’t been clearly communicated, you are likely to react negatively, such as being disappointed, frustrated, angry, or hurt.

5. You act masculine instead of using your feminine energy.

In a couple, one person typically has more female energy and the other more masculine energy. Both types of energy are a part of all of us and different circumstances can bring one out more. The stereotypes of the past do not hold anymore. 

If you are woman bringing masculine energy to the relationship but you want a strong man, there’s no room for a man to be masculine without trying to dominate you.  

Men often compete to be the "Alpha" or lead male. When a woman is bringing her masculine energy, she may be consciously or unconsciously competing to be the alpha male.  Maybe this works if you are in a leadership role in your organization, especially if you are in a highly competitive male-dominated environment.

On the other hand, many women have feminine energy we deny or suppress, especially at work, and that creates stress for us because we are not being who we really are. You may not realize this because masculine energy — male and female — is all you've seen demonstrated in your workplace.

Feminine energy is powerful, but it is not dominating. Men need for us to hold the space for them to express themselves and listen.