How You Act In Relationships, Based On Your 'Attachment Style'

May 8, 2018

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Attachment is actually extremely important and can define the types of relationships you'll have for the rest of your life. So depending on what type of attachment is formed in infancy and early childhood, adult individuals will fall within these four attachment styles: Secure, Anxious-Preoccupied, Dismissive Avoidant and Fearful Avoidant. 

1. Secure Attachment
If a secure attachment is formed, the individual brings that with them through life. Which normally meansthis person has a really good relationship with their parents. This person will be open to relationships and will have no issues with maintaining good, strong relationships and friendships for years to come. 

2. Fearful-Avoidant
This type of attachment is categorized as an insecure attachment. This leads the individual to keep their distance from any form of relationship because they are too afraid to get hurt. This can derive from the individual not having a secure attachment from the first year of life or from experience later on in life. Which, let's face it, is all of us at one point or another.

3. Anxious-Preoccupied 
This attachment style is similar to secure attachment in a sense that they can get close to others emotionally and they like to be emotionally close to people, however, this type of attachment is insecure as an individual has to feel close to someone at all times. 

Anxious-Preoccupied people don’t like the feeling of being alone. So can any of you think of those friends that you have that keep jumping from relationship to relationship? Or those friends who are extremely clingy, at all times? This type of attachment type is normally the reason for that.

4. Dismissive-Avoidant  
This attachment style is when an individual can get emotionally attached to another individual; however, they choose not to get emotionally close to anyone due to experience, lack of bonding early in life, or because they are psychopathic. So those guys that say "I don't do relationships" or "I don't like commitment", that's normally because they are in the Dismissive-Avoidant category.  

Will my attachment style stay the same for the rest of my life?

The answer is, probably not. There are studies that have shown that there are some correlations between your infant and adult attachment styles, but they are mediocre, at best. Just like individuals changing their attachment types due to bad experiences, those with good experiences might also change their attachment types. So it's not the end of the world if you have an insecure attachment, you just need to work on it.