7 Golden Rules Of Texting That The Most Attractive Men & Women Follow

February 28, 2018

© Antonio Guillem | Dreamstime.com

Here are 7 tips for people wondering how to get a guy or girl to like to start texting the way the most attractive men and women do.

1. Chill out.

In those first few weeks of a relationship, you might want to talk to the object of your desire every day, but texting non-stop can form a pseudo-intimacy, and before you realize they’re not the one for you, you’re already digitally "addicted" to him or her.

Go slow. Take time, at least a day or so, between texts, calls, and dates to give yourself the space to reflect on who that person really is. 

2. Keep busy.

The fuller your life is, the less chained to your phone you will be. If you’re starting to spaz out that it’s been an hour and he or she hasn’t texted back, instead of anxiously checking your phone every few minutes or fire off that annoying, “Where are you? Why are you texting me back?” message, divert your attention elsewhere.

Phone a friend, take a walk, hit the gym, or just turn your phone off for an hour to get a little distance.

3. Stop decoding.

You can come up with all of these reasons why he or she hasn’t texted back and concoct story after story in your head — i.e., she’s with another man, he’s just not into me, etc. — but his is a waste of time and energy.  He or she might really be busy. Or, maybe they really are NOT that into you. Either way, you can’t control it, so there's no sense in worrying about it.

If you suspect something is up, talk to him or her. Don’t try to decode it by their texting habits
4. Remember, stuff really does happen.

Phones get lost. Phones lose service. Phones go dead. Phones fall in toilets. Phones get left at bars. Who hasn’t this happened to?

If this is the kind of excuse he or she gives for not replying to a text fast enough, believe it. Go into these situations viewing the person as innocent until proven guilty.

Now, if it happens repeatedly, then you have a cause for concern. But, once or twice? Totally normal. Unless there are other reasons not to trust him, you need to give the benefit of the doubt.

5. Never text these 3 sentences.
“We need to talk.”
“I think we should break up.”
“Why aren’t you texting me back?”

If you really do need to talk, really do want to break up, and/or are really flipping your lid over texting issues, it needs to be addressed offline — either on the phone or in person. Texting should never be for serious conversations, discussions, or working out the kinks in your relationship. Too many things can be misconstrued via text, so if you need to go over anything important, pick up the phone instead.

6. Never blow up someone's phone.

If he or she didn’t reply after two texts, STOP TEXTING. Sending someone 10 texts in a row, especially when your messages are increasingly angry or worried, makes you look a little manic and needy. Chill.

Again, if he or she doesn’t text back after the first or second text, sending eight more isn’t going to make him or her text back faster. No one likes his or her phone getting blown up with double texts.

7. Understand the natural slowdown.

Couples need to understand the natural flow of new relationships. We get that dopamine rush early on and it makes you want to see and talk to the person all the time, but it soon levels off naturally, and for some, that can be scary.

At first they're texting you every day, then one day goes by when they can’t and you panic.

Don’t panic. Breathe. The slowdown is normal.