The Top Things You Should Never Say to Your Boss

October 16, 2017

© Ginasanders | Dreamstime

I'll be taking an extended lunch break today . . . and so will your wife.

Can I take the rest of the day off?  I'm high as a kite.

Can we go back to the two-ply toilet paper?  I hate having to wash my hands EVERY time I go.

The phone just wouldn't stop ringing this morning . . . so I unplugged it.

Can we change it to Casual Gimp Outfit Friday?

Boy, our biggest client has NO sense of humor!

Let's say . . . and this is a total hypothetical . . . that I applied for disability.  Would you fight it?

Can I put our top secret operating plans on a thumb drive?

I'm the only one who knows how to do that, and I'm taking the secret with me to my grave.

Yes, I know your coffee cup is the one that says "Number One Boss".  Why do you think I peed in it?

Ya know these stupid sales meetings are seriously cutting into my Instagram time.

I'm going to be late tomorrow . . . I have an interview at a much better company.

Sir, you have one of the most convincing toupees I've ever seen.

You'll be glad to know that I never stop working to take a bathroom break . . . I wear Depends.

I'm a team player . . . but like a player for the Cleveland Browns, so I suck.   and finally .........Nice ass.